By Sally B. Woofman

tongues and tails have been wagging in the dog park since a Beagle was named “Best in Show” at Westminster. We pooches started barking about the human contest currently in progress. Seems they only do it every four years instead of annually like us. Humans are such a strange and mysterious breed to dogs. So, we tried to relate them to the superior species by figuring out what breeds the candidates would be if they were dogs.

John McCainine— This fancy white Poodle has been around since the early years of the Westminster dog show, which started in 1877. Sure he’s won a lot of blue ribbons in his career and the Poodle is a contest mainstay, but I’m guessing humans are going to take a lead from dogs this year and chose something different. He might be poised to win “Best of Breed,” in the Republican contest, but he’ll be trounced by the competition. And—let’s be honest here—at 504 years old it’s time for this pampered pooch to retire for long walks and belly rubs.

Mike Hucksterbee—No doubt about it, this guy is a terrier, a breed known for tenacity. So, in his relentless hunt for delegates he’s as harmless as a cute Scottie, but his totally terrifying fundamentalism is pure rogue Pit Bull. Even dogs get that we evolved from wolves.

To me Barack “Bark” Obama is a regal Doberman Pinscher. I say this not because I’m half Doberman, but because he is a handsome, lean work horse who has the brains and the brawn to learn any task and then perform it perfectly. He’s got his ears pricked up at attention and is clearly hearing the American people. Plus, under the Doberman tough exterior lurks a gentle soul who is faithful to the people who love him.

The other 50% of me is Labrador Retriever, and I think Hillary Clinton is a Lab, too. A little more full-figured than a Dob, but with a lovable face and smile, this is one of the most beloved of all breeds, and for good reason. Smart, kind, looks out for concerns of families and is protective of children (and looks great in monochromatic pants suits), the Lab is a trusted and reliable leader. She will continue to sniff out what is important to working Americans.

Dog shows and elections are tough contests. You’ve gotta shake a lot of paws and lick a lot of babies. But at least humans don’t have to stand on all fours and have their private parts groped by strangers.

Imagine my disappointment this week when I curled up on the couch with my bowl of kibble, switched on Letterman and got a re-run. Click. Daily Show? Re-run. Click. Colbert Report? Ditto. Leno? (I was desperate). Rerun! What was happening? I mean, this was November sweeps for goodness sakes. Well, maybe I’m the last pup in America to learn the Writers Guild of America (WGA) – the union of 12,000 fine folks responsible for writing my favorite TV shows (I only watch scripted TV, btw. No “reality” for this dog, although America’s Next Top Mutt is a bit of a guilty pleasure) and movies – had laid down their pencils in favor of picket signs. Turns out they are seeking fair compensation for the sale of DVDs and use of material downloaded and streamed on the internet and other new media.

Now – being the pro-labor Demo-dog I am, you know I feel very strongly about union rights and support all those hard working dogs out there. Whether they’re pulling sleds, sniffing bombs, assisting the blind – those dogs all earn and deserve good working conditions, fair play, and their fair share of the pie. A number of humans have asked me “why do writers need to go on strike since they make a lot of money?” because they think of television writers as being well-paid “fat cats.” Well, to a working dog, there is no greater insult than being called a cat – fat or otherwise. And the truth is, while some writers make a nice living, they are also the foundation on which the entire entertainment industry is built. As the corporate management and share holders — the real fat cats in this story — make more and more money using new means of media distribution, they want to short-change the very people who make their growing profits possible. Just like others in the labor movement, writers believe that management should not hog all the profits for themselves. Yeah, yeah, it might be hard to feel empathy towards a “Hollywood writer,” but writers deserve their share of the profits. Even if it might seem like a lot of money to some of us, it’s nowhere near as much as the BILLIONS the large corporations rake in. In short, a script writer, like a song writer, wants to collect their “royalties” each time their product is used.

If writers do not prevail in the current negotiations, those “royalties” —or residuals– will eventually dry up as the old way of distributing and viewing programs (network and cable TV) gives way to the new. This means each time you watch a show on your computer, or buy a season of shows on disk, the only people making money are Wall Street investors and senior management—-not the combined talent of writers and actors who are the ones making you laugh or making you cry. This just ain’t right.

To summarize, I am going on the record to say I support the goals of the WGA and stand on all four legs in solidarity with my creative brothers and sisters. It’s on their shoulders the real FAT CATS in Hollywood – the Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers which is really just the front for a cabal of media giants like News Corp. and Viacom – have made BILLIONS. Ultimately, AMPTP’s goal is to not only take back the very small slice of the very large pie they have heretofore shared with the writers, but to crush the union itself. And, as the saying goes: that dog won’t hunt.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go out for a re-run.

For additional information click on:

Forbes Magazine

Writers Guild of America

So I’m wondering—when humans cast their votes in November do they remind themselves that just days before millions of US children were posed with the question “Trick or Treat?”  And that the answer to the question for those kids is abundantly clear?  Maybe human adults should ask themselves the same question when they’re standing at the voting machine.

To paraphrase one of my absolute favorite Bush quotes “trick me once, shame on you.  Trick me twice – We can’t get tricked again.”  After years of ghouls, vampires, dementors and other soul suckers in the White House we feel the shame of being tricked twice in a row. And now it’s time for a TREAT. 

It’s up to you humans to define who will deliver the changes we’re so hungry for.  So as you’re really starting to tune in to the primary elections look at the impressive slate of Democratic candidates ask yourselves what sweet treats you want to see tossed into the national bag —some balance on the Supreme Court? Changes in health care coverage? A national effort to join Nobel prize winner Al Gore on his quest to do something about global warming? A restoration of our reputation in the world?  Quality control so dog food remains untainted?

Wanna really scare yourself on Halloween?  Take a look at the Republican slate of presidential contenders.

Gandhi said “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”  He was a simple man, and these simple words of wisdom have guided me in my bold steps this year to get barking about  the return of a Democrat  to the White House.   If you want a Democratic president (not to mention getting Progressives elected to national, state and local offices) then you  must believe you can work towards making it happen!  What you choose to do can be big or small; it can take lots of time or hardly any at all; it can involve writing a check or volunteering your time.  It’s up to you.   If a simple dog like me can do something, so can you!  Don’t just stand there—start acting Blue. 

I’ll make it easy for you to get started—here are some things you humans can do right NOW:

Are you registered to vote?  EVERY VOTE COUNTS.  I’ll definitely be howling about this in the coming months.  In the meantime, if you’re not registered take a look at DeclareYourself and get your registration taken care of. Then make sure all of your friends, family, coworkers are registered.  (Hey—to my second favorite human, Ann—did you re-register since you changed your name?)

Where are you getting your news?  Start digging around the issues that matter most to you.  Read more.  Be sure to look at “alternative” forms of information.   Media Matters is an awesome place to look—they track misinformation in the media.  Don’t let the mainstream media mislead you—progressives are the majority in this country.  The media likes to continue to frame things like there is a big divide between “liberals” and “conservatives” but in reality, progressives are the clear majority.

Already decided on your candidate?  Then show it!  Put up a lawn sign; put a sign in your window; wear a button; be on the cutting edge:  WEAR ONE OF MY COLLARS AND LEASHES!  When I wear my Dogs4Democrats ensemble, you wouldn’t believe the great conversations my person, Sharon, gets into when we’re out for our walks!   Amazingly, in the last week three Republicans talked to her and were totally excited about what we are trying to do (we didn’t even know there were Republicans in Chicago!).  I just wagged my tail in appreciation, and they patted me on the head.

Gotta few extra bones in your pocket?  Write a check to the candidate of your choice.  Until things change they need to raise funds.  Especially local folks!  Check out Act Blue—“the online clearing house for Democratic Action.”  It’s a great mechanism for donating to Blue candidates from across the country.

Got a few extra hours?  Sniff around your neighborhood and work to turn out the vote.  Volunteer on a campaign.  Answer phones.  Stuff envelopes.  Carry petitions to get the signatures needed for your candidate to be on the ballot.  Canvas door-to-door.

There’s so much more to do, and I won’t stop barking about this.  Please let me know what you’re up to.  All the things we do add up.  If we dogs and people team up, we can accomplish something big! Trust me—you’ll feel great when you start being that change you want to see in this country. 

By Sally B. Woofman

OMG!  My person—Sharon– was interviewed on NPR for a piece about the Yearly Kos by Weekend Edition’s Scott Horsley.  She attended the Yearly Kos meeting in Chicago where she rubbed elbows with lots of other progressives and learned how to blog (so she could pass some tips on to me, since I’m new at this blogging thing).

 She’s totally enthused about the netroots community, and was blown away by seeing the panel of Democratic presidential contenders.    Perhaps her favorite session was “Left Behind by the Right,” with a panel of former conservative who are now prominent progressives, though she was sorely disappointed when her hero (and mine) Arianna Huffington wasn’t there (broken ankle, apparently).   But, then there was the electrifying speech by General Wesley Clark, and the incredible documentaries she saw, so I don’t know if it’s fair to pick a favorite moment.  Of course, just being in a sea of progressives who are devastated by what is happening to our country under Bush-Cheney, and who are working to bring about political change was the true highlight.

Sharon did a good job telling Mr. Horsley about my reasons for creating Dogs 4 Democrats—which is to promote our candidates in a fun way.  During our walks we are able to connect and converse with people, and we hope to convert this country to a Democratic president.    We are doing what we can to get conversations going with our neighbors in the hopes that we ultimately get people to the polls to vote Democratic.  That part didn’t make it on the air—but she did manage to make the point that 8 years of Bush-Cheney is a freakin’ long time, and it 56 years to me!! (Though I’m pretty sure it feels like 56 years to you, too!). 

I just love that Sharon’s first important interview was with a man named HORSley— isn’t that perfect?!

Oh my - Pepe might get deported!  Pepe’s a Mexican Chihuahua and also my best friend. 

Pepe’s story goes like this: A couple of years ago, Pepe chased a ball across the US-Mexican border and eventually made his way to Chicago, mostly by hitching rides.  When he got here, a great family befriended him and Pepe’s lived with them ever since.

I first met Pepe on a cold Chicago morning while we were taking our morning walks.   I remember sneezing from sniffing his awesome alpaca sweater.  Ever since, we’ve been best buddies.  In fact, Pepe sometimes spends the night at my house when his family is out of town.

So you can imagine my dismay when I learned Pepe might get deported.  You see, there are some dogs who think Pepe shouldn’t be in this country.  For instance, Max, the nervous German shepherd, is afraid Pepe will claim all the good pee spots.  Fiona, the rambunctious Irish setter, says Pepe’s not American enough because he barks with an accent.  And Jacques, the delicate French poodle, thinks Pepe’s hair’s too wiry.  

But if these dogs just got to know Pepe they’d see how great a pal he is.   Actually, I don’t see why these dogs are complaining – I mean, Pepe’s the only one who eats the paper scraps left around the playground.  I don’t see any of them doing that. 

Thankfully, there is a growing pack of dogs who don’t agree with Pepe’s critics.  And these dogs are making their barks heard by assembling in rallies, distributing flyers, and writing to their representatives.  Pepe and I are confident these efforts will secure Pepe’s place in America for years to come.  They better, because this winter Pepe promised to knit me my very own alpaca sweater.